Brave

Last week my husband--who works at an urban 6-12 grade school--tried to intervene is a small hallway altercation between a few students.  He stepped in between two middle school students to talk with one of them.  Within a few moments he had been struck three times on the back of his head with a closed fist by a 19 year old senior.  He turned around, trying to understand what had happened, and was quickly surrounded by a circle of boys who were telling him to put his "hands up and fight." This is the stuff of nightmares, as far as I'm concerned.  He stood calmly, with his hands at his sides, repeating to the boys "I'm not going to fight" and hoped that security was on their way.  

And then, something extraordinary happened.  Several high school girls walked into the circle, surrounded my husband and started to walk him away from the situation.  They repeated the words that he has said innumerable times "let's just walk this way." They ignored the boys who were threatening him, they essentially escorted him out of the situation.  No one was hurt any further.  

I can play out this scenario a million times in my head.  I can see all of the ways that this could have gone horribly wrong, all of the ways that this could have ended in a very real tragedy.  The only tragedy that did result is that a 19 year old is being charged as an adult with a felony battery against a teacher.  And I mean it with all sincerity that I believe that a felony charge is a tragedy.

But instead of focusing on the awfulness of the situation, I am intentionally choosing to focus of the behavior of the strong, brave, young women who took a tremendous risk.  The risk of doing the right thing!

This is my note to them 

My name is Jenny Stonemeier--I am married to Mr. Stonemeier--and I am writing to thank you.  I have a feeling that in all of the attention that was and will be given to the behavior of a few boys, there will not be much attention given to you.  And I feel strongly that you are the ones who should be getting the most attention.  Unfortunately, our schools and our society is much more interested in focusing on negative behavior than on positive behavior.

I want to make sure that you understand what you did for Mr. Stonemeier.  I want to make sure that you know that I understand what you did for Mr. Stonemeier.  You took a risk--a huge risk.  You physically stepped into a DANGEROUS situation and you did what you knew was right.  And for that, I am incredibly grateful.

I sometimes worry that young people don't know how to take risks for the right reasons, they don't know how to listen to their instincts and do what they know is right.  I see too many people--young and old--taking risks for all the wrong reasons.  Exactly like the young men who were also involved in this incident.  They were definitely taking a risk, but what good could have come from the risk of violence against a teacher?

I know that I don't know you, but it makes me incredibly proud to know that you were willing to take the risk that you did, to help Mr. Stonemeier.  I hope that you might be able to find a way to continue to listen to your instincts, to continue to do the things that you know are right even if they are different from what your friends are doing.  I hope that you continue to show yourself, your family, your friends, and the world that your are smart, capable, independent thinking, and unafraid young women who are ready to make changes in our schools, our communities, and in the world.  I hope that you learn to feel the power that goes along with listening to, and honoring, your instincts.

I'm sorry that this situation ever happened in the first place, but please know--for the rest of your lives--that I am grateful for each of you!!